{To my family}

Thoughts and love to you all today.

WWJD???

What Would Janin Do?

Eat Chocolate

Love Abundantly

Run

Laugh

I will spend my day mimicking WWJD

xoxo

{I'm with the band}

Riv's heart belongs to his candy apple red electric guitar.

This guitar was bought with money that River had been saving.

Purchase price was $200 (used), but the love that Riv has for it is priceless.

He has been going around school spreading the word that he is starting a band and looking for recruits.

As of yesterday, he had these positions filled:

 lead vocals, bass guitar, electric guitar/vocal back-ups (Riv), drums (2 peeps fighting over the spot), and cowbell/maracas/tambourine/biggest fan (mom)

Step 2 is getting the "band" together for a "jam" session.

((I can't help but giggle at the thoughts of this band round up))

Apparently, all new recruits will have to play music from the hard hitters like:

AC/DC

Led Zeppelin

Black Sabbath

Guns -N- Roses

Jimi Hendrix

AND some original written songs

If they are not willing to do some head bangin', riff running, and microphone screaming til their lungs give out....

then they will be kicked out!!!!

Because that's just ROCK-N-ROLL baby!!!!

What????

You want to know the name of the band?!!?

Well, Riv has done a lot of background checks for copyrights on this name, and everything is coming back clear!!!

(because Riv does everything proper and legally)

His band name is.........

((((((drum roll please))))))

GRID FACE

I will keep you abreast of the adventures of Grid Face, and possibly try to video a few jam sessions for your rock-n-roll entertainment ;)

This will be verrrrrrry interesting.

Luckily, I'm already partially deaf in my right ear

due to my jr.high/high school days of being a band-aid to 

teenage garage bands....

OH NO!!!!!

Memories are flooding through my head!!!

Guys in a band = Girls going goo goo gah gah.

Good thing I am the manager of Grid Face......

Rules will be enforced!

This aint my first rock-n-roll rodeo!!!

{Science isn't pretty}


Paula, skip this post...
I don't think you can handle the info




I/we DO NOT go by the book.
Hence, why everything we do is a guess-timation  
or is built with 4 screws left over and wondering why the TV stand leans to one side.
I finally pulled out the "LIVE BUTTERFLY GARDEN" Instruction guide to find out if the process that was happening is natural.
I mean, we've loved, fed and stalked these living beings for two weeks.....I couldn't run the chance of neglect this far in the game just because I am too lazy to "go by the book."
Whew....long winded for a little explanation.
I seem to be a rambler these days.
Drives peeps nuts!
Sorry peeps :(
So, from what the info sheet tells us, the round balls are pooh balls a.k.a "frass".
The black pieces of fuzzy is actually part of the caterpillar's bottom that gets pinched off outside of the cocoon!
WTF!!!!!!!??!?!?!?
 (ewwwwww so nasty!!!! uhhhhhhhck)
The reddish/orange specks are excreted* liquid called meconium.  It is made up of the leftover coloring and tissues from the wing formation.  
It is not blood.
*excreted is another word that should have never been invented.
Where's my Clorox?


There will be a quiz at the end of this segment. 
Please study as needed.

We took the paper topper off of the plastic containers and pinned the chrysalides to the inside wall of the butterfly garden habitat.
Remember the video of them frantically shaking like freak-a-geeks????
This is their natural instinct to ward off predators.


I found this information very interesting.
(((speaking in a smart English accent)))

They will be in pupal (cocoon) stage for 7-10 days.

I will let you know when our first baby butterfly spreads it's wings!!!

Because I know you are waiting on the edge of your seat and sooooo enjoy this preschool science project presentation.

This is what happens to people (me) who are home all too much schooling their child.

A ball of pooh-frass is a daily highlight.

{For hire}

Jax singing "Forget You" by Cee-Lo Green

Qualifications:
~He's damn cute
~He cooks the most amazing cookies, pudding, cakes, Top Ramen, cereal and toaster waffles you have ever eaten!!!!
~He entertains by singing and dancing to all of the upcoming artists


Now hiring him out for child labor at the bargain price of $11.38/hr and you have to feed him at least 7 meals a day, which could add up to $100's due to the amount he needs to consume to keep his 'fro, nose, and feet growing at a rapid pace!
I will need him back every other day or so because I need to be fed and entertained as well.
Make checks payable to Jolie.

{YAY for MAY}

Adele will be at The Depot May 29th!!!!

Oh!!!  I'm soooo there!

NEVER MIND........just noticed she's sold out!!

Dammit!

{Dancing on the ceiling}

picture taken 3/27/11

11 days after receiving the larvae

We woke to our 'pillars hanging from the ceiling of their plastic containers.

They were still tweens as of 10 pm last eve.

This morning they are at the end of their life cycle as a caterpillar, and preparing for a re-birth into something much more beautiful and not so freakish!!!!

A half an hour after I took this picture (above),

Jax yelled for me to come to his room and watch the abrupt change.

Just see for yourself.......

Make sure to watch both clips!!!

All kinds of fighting, shaking, and transforming going on!!!

You won't want to miss todays adventure of 

"Dancing on the ceiling!"

Your kids will love this!!!!!

Disclaimer:  Sorry about the lame commentary.

Excitement took over and my professional journalism voice was no where to be found.

In the amount of time it took me to upload these educational videos,

 (MANY frickin hours! 

Not even kidding!

Blogger software needs an overhaul! 

ARGH!!!!), 

most of the 'pillars are now also in cocoon stage and frantically shaking.

This is the fastest process I've ever seen a living creature-thingy age!!!!

I think* caterpillar time is 8.1 years to our one day!

Awesome!!!!!

*just me thinking......

which means the info is 

totally NOT National Geographic accurate!

{How rude!}

picture taken at precisely 11:30 am on 3/25/11

Would-ya just take a look at this crap?!?!?!

30 friggin degrees and flakeage!

Seriously????

You know, I had a talk with the Universe just the other day.

I told her that I am being a good girl in all kinds and every way.

Could I PAHLEEEZ have some sunshine?

My skin couldn't get any more the color of milk!

I'm actually starting to see it turn translucent!

The Universe answered me with a whisper in my ear,

"sure chica!  

I can hook you up with some vitamin D happiness!"

and then I said,

"thanks guuuurl!!! 

you sooo rock my world!  

figuratively and literally!"

Oh yah???  Really????!?!? 

Well Ms. Uni.  

You're a big fat snowy, cold liar!!!!!

How Rude!

I don't think I can trust her anymore 

(sniffle, sniffle, sigh)

Me and Ms. Uni are fighting!!!!

{The dark side}

I'm in to the new hair 'do a week now.

As any woman knows, new hair 'do means more than just hair.

It means:

~ new attitude

~new personality

~new attention

~people's new opinion being thrown at you.

For the most part, I've received very positive feedback.

(thanks to all who have been so sweet, supportive and encouraging...love, love, love you)

(exempt the feedback that Randy told Derek that this hair ruined his life.  he has apologized and feels bad for saying it.

men hate change....especially when it comes to their women cutting off hair!)

I think we are all finally getting used to the color at this point.  

My boys have stopped saying, 

"whoa...I forgot you're different" when they walk into the room.

I'm liking it a lot more now that the reddish/purple has toned down.

I'm not one that appreciates phony color.

I like to look natural.....well, as natural as a foil color weave will let you.

This has been a fun/interesting experiment. 

 I  think that I get as many looks as a darkie as I did as a blondie, but I'm not sure it's for the same reasons.

My self confidence and personality have quieted.

Dark hair makes me feel like I'm not unique and could blend in with the background.

Which is crazy, because Utah is FULL of blondes that look like walking clones.

I guess that is one of the things that propelled me to the dark side....just trying to change things up and show my rebellion of being different.

Different is only good if you are comfortable in the persona.

But even with that being said, I am very proud of the leap it took to get here!  In younger years I would have never done this....and even if I would have tried, this could have been the type of thing to throw me into a great depression.

MY HAIR HOLDs THE KEYS TO MY HAPPINESS

Isn't that sick......

Being older and a bit wiser makes me more calm and less vain.

Because really.....nobody cares wtf you do.

All of us are concerned with ourselves.

My blonde ambition is starting to wiggle its way back.

Jolie=blonde- airhead- silly

I'm going to enjoy this stage of darkness and hope that my transition back to the light isn't too difficult and destructive to the follicle and checkbook!

{OMG!! OMG!!! OUCHEE}

My trainer gave me this foam roller along with some exercises to "roll out" my muscles.

Particularly my IT Band.....the tendon that runs the length of my leg and under my knee.

HOLY FREAKIN' GUACAMOLE!!!!!

This is one of those exercises that is a hurt-so-good kind of pain.

Well....mostly hurts.

The good comes later.

This roller is basically a way to deep message your own body.

It is amazing to me how connected our body is from head to toe, yet sometimes we don't make it a point to emotionally connect.

Being aware of bodily placements, ailments, and strengths is very centering.

I was rolling my quads when I hit a certain point that sent shocks down to my knees!

Rolling my quads heal my knees...

THAT is how connected the inners of our bodies are.

Weird huh?

(Miss Kitty laid next to me the entire time...I think she was worried about me due to the shreaking coming from my gritted teeth)

If you are in the same vicinity of me while I am rollin', you would expect to walk into someone giving birth.

The F-bomb is flying along with many other four letter naughties.

Moans and heavy breathing follows the curses.

My trainer said that is a time of reflection and could be emotional.

Everything I am feeling in my life is stored and toxified in these sad weak muscles.

In between the F*&$ and SH*T screaming, I envision these ghostly toxins exiting the muscle.

Guess what?

This HOLY ROLLER works!!!

Starting my workout last night, my knees were at a pain level of about 8 (out of 10).

By the time I went to bed, it had lowered to a 3.5!!!!

This whole time I thought my body was made in the factory of rejected parts.

Now I know that I can improve, even with the parts I was given.  The tears and pain are just part of the process of growing stronger.

I am so thankful for the help, guidance, and love of my trainer and friends.

They inspire me and keep me movin!!!!

And this......

THIS is Randy watching me roll the inside of my thighs.  

He wishes that he could replace himself as my foam muscle roller.

Men are so easily excited!

Poor simple creatures.

{Violet eyes}

Elizabeth Taylor

1932-2011

I think that she had the most amazing features and coloring.

She defined Hollywood beauty.....naturally.

It's no wonder the many menz wanted to marry her.

Rest In Peace

{true blonde}

Don't let my dark 'do fool ya.

It hasn't made me any smarter.

For some reason I thought it would...

ya know, like a bachelor degree in a dye bottle.

I'm still a true blonde on the inside regardless of what the outside looks like!

Sign was supposed to read "CHELISE".

Oopsie :)  Forgot the L

Who forgets how to spell their own loved one's name???

Well, besides Paula who spelled Elliott's name wrong on a pumpkin once, but she's a true blonde too :)

Sorry Paula for throwing you under the bus with me....

it's lonely at the ditzy blonde top.

I think it's truly just a lack of warmth and sunshine getting to me.

Oh HEY!!!  

Vegas has warmth and sunshine 

and maybe some smog, 

but a little bit of pollution never hurt anyone!!!!

(((cough, cough....wrinkle skin)))

I'm pretty sure the doctor is writing a prescription for me as we speak!!!!

Rx: Sun+warmth+fun(x)weekend=Vegas

Vegas is my favorite itte pi +L

(little pill)

Good at math, bad at spelling :)

{Pillar baby daddy}

Jax had been talking about the 

"freakin, awesome commercial where I can make my own butterflies!" for about a week.

I ignored him.

And ignored him.

And said No.

Then got irritated.

Then watched the commercial.

Then bought the damn kit!

If my kid wants to make his own butterflies, well then dammit!!! 

He should be able to do that!

There's a little bit of God in all of us that can help the creation of living things blossom in this world.

Ahhhhhhhh.....

oops sorry.....sometimes my PollyAnna just spews without me knowing.

For the amazing price of only $19.95 plus $10.00 S&H, the order was placed.

see here if interested http://www.shop-insectlore.com/Butterflies/.

Every day Jax waited for the delivery dude....

It took four loooooong days and the goods arrived.

Picture taken on 3/16

The two plastic containers that held the caterpillar larvae had me concerned.

(the word larvae gives me the heebee geebee's and makes me want to Clorox something!)

Each held 5 larvae which looked as if they were dead and been preyed upon by a spider because there was webbing sparsely throughout.

The brown peanut butter looking stuff is their food, but looked like pooh all the same.

We stared for about a minute, with no activity coming from inside the container I had decided that this was the bunk-est, lame-est, kid heartbreaking, money stealing scam I'd ever seen!!!! 

Jax was totally bummed!

And I was totally pissed.

AND THEN!!!!!

Just as I was about to call my local magpie over to have a good lunch of ugly dead larvae, 

we saw them start to move!!!!!!

AND THEN!!!!

We took it upon ourselves to read the instructions!

WOW!!  It's amazing what you can learn when you read the "How to's and why's".

Apparently, our little 'pillars were perfectly healthy and the silky webbing was supposed to be there.

YAY!!!  We were excited again about raising these lil pillar-bambino's!!!

Not only did the kit come with 'pillars and growing instructions, but also the netted housing.......and

A poster!

Every dude wants a flower/butterfly poster for his bedroom!

Jax could just turret himself to death with the anticipation of being the flutterbys baby daddy :)

Picture taken 3/21

Look at how much our babies have grown in 5 days!!!!!

This really is a wonderful science experiment for the kids all of us.

We are excited to wake up in the morning and see how much they've grown over night.

OHHHH we can't wait for the cocoon stage!!!

We will keep you posted on the transformations!!!!

 {From the ostrich family}

You all know that I'm in the running clinic with Lisa.

We have a wonderful trainer that is conditioning our bodies for various goals.

The last 3 weeks have been a lot of cardio, strength building and stretching.

This next week we will be going into running intervals for stamina.

I've learned a lot about my body.

The goods, but mostly bads and uglies.

Don't worry tho...I'm not freaking out about the 

b's and u's.

Just the opposite.

It's been a real eye opener to how out of shape I really am.  I am super stoked to be doing something about it!

I have been under my own brain wash that I am a pretty healthy person.

I eat well, I always take walks and am always encouraging my family to be active.

Shit...I am undefeated in leg wrestling, mercy fights and titty twisters!

How much better shape does a person need to be???

What I am realizing, is that you can have the strength of an ox and still have no muscle.

Seems like an oxymoron but it's true.

I have no idea where my unheard of strength comes from when I have minimal muscle mass!

This all comes to play in the way my body is effected by my running/work outs.

My knees are suffering from patellar tendinitis.

This is caused by being knock-kneed and having over pronation (which my boat shoes help with a lot),

and having extremely weak quad and ass muscles.

Well really.....

NO quad or ass muscles!

Hence the pancake butt.

And because of the lack of quad and ass muscles, I tend to run forward on my toes and take too much impact on my knees.

Just envision an ostrich running.

I totally fit the picture in your mind.

I'm pretty sure I should have had leg braces* as a child.

This just aint right!!

I'm calling it child neglect and I'm pissed about it now!

*My opinion only

To help build these quad/ass muscles I've been instructed to do 25-30 squats a day.

I figured if I'm gonna put in the work, I should have a goal to reach for.

They say that if you put a picture in front of you that mimics what it is you want to look like, it can help propel your dream.

So here we go.

This is my dream ass.

I figure I only have 57839049 more squats to go :)

This is probably Randy's dream ass too.

Hey Randy!!!  I'm working on it!!!

Quit asking me if I've put in my squat time!

I know you are excited about the possibilities but my hell!

be nice to the handicapped!

{I don't even know you anymore}

Oh dear!!!!

You caught me you naughty little scoundrel!

Well Hellllllll-oooooooo :)

 Let me introduce myself.

I am Randy's mistress.

The Ms. Hedy Lamarr.

Pleased to meet you.....

but let's just keep this our little secret.

No sense on worrying Jolie about this...right?

Thanks darlin'

MUAH!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yes....

this is me.

I don't really know what the fluck I went and did.

My intention was to get a little trim off the ends and maybe "fun" things up with a heavy bang.

My hairdresser just couldn't take it anymore.....

she needed to say what's been on her mind for a year!!!

"Jolie!!!  

Let's just do this! 

Can we cut off this hair already!?! 

AND this blonde of yours sucks!  

We are going dark, 

AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.....

NO!!!.....

YOU WILL LOOOOOVE IT 

and want to smack it on a bing bong!"

Well, after you get that kind of hoorah-over-zealous cheerleading speech, you just wanna yell,

"RAH RAH SHISHK BOOM BAH MUTHA FLUCKAH!!!!!

 LET'S DO IT!!!!"

And so we did.

And now I don't even know who I am anymore.

My security and identity has been blanketed with long blonde hair.

I'm  confident as a blonde and have enjoyed the attention that comes with it.

So, with one day into being a red/brunette, I'm confused with who/what kind of person I am being perceived as.

I am freaked out when I walk by the mirror reminding myself of the transformation.

Sometimes I think hmmm....this is a good change.

Other times I think hmmm...what did I do???

The color is so very dark and intense, it kind of looks like fake doll hair at this point.

Some people thought I had a wig on!

A few things that I have already noticed that are different are:

~Less shampoo and conditioner

~It is soooo nice to comb out my hair after washing.

(I always dreaded combing my wet, long hair.  Cutting 12 inches OFF makes life soooo much easier!)

~It is very weird to see shedded dark hair on the floor.  Blonde hair is unnoticeable.

Now my goal is to find a new make-up color pallet  that works well with the new do.....tricky-er than you would think!

The question you all are wondering:

What does Randy think about the change?

Answer:

Cliche.....but he seriously feels like he is cheating on me with another woman.

But that doesn't stop him!!!!

It's made him very excited :) and has WOWED a few things up!!

Who knew all it took was a bottle of dye and $115?

What a difference a DO makes!