Tuesday, September 28, 2010

{In front of the girls}


I'm pretty sure I haven't done this in a while
to embarrass my boys


Nobody's seen me do this one
to embarrass my boys

And I know FOR DAMN sure, I've NEVER done this one
to embarrass my boys

~~~~~~~~

'WHAT IS IT THAT I HAVE DONE TO EMBARRASS MY BOYS?', you ask.

~I called River a gentleman
in front of the girls
~I greeted him with ,'hi honey! how was your day at school',
in front of the girls
~I tugged his ear as a gesture of love,
in front of the girls
~I asked if he got full off of his breakfast,
in front of the girls
~I touched his hair, I smiled at him, I asked any kind of question, I laughed, I cracked a joke, I BREATHED.....
in front of the girls.

I was wondering when this "my mom is sooooo embarrassing" phase would hit.
Yes, I was naive thinking that my boys are too sweet and love their momma way to much to be embarrassed by her....
AND, let's face it!
I'm cool! dammit!!!
What ever in the world would they have to be embarrassed about?!?!?!?

Apparently.....
A  WHOLE LOT!

eh....I'm ok now that I've thought about it....
knowing I can easily embarrass my boys, gives me some good ammo in the need of blackmail/punishment.
Until then, I will be quiet and non-touching to Riv
in front of the girls :)


Monday, September 27, 2010


{Tracy}

Sassy, Classy and still kickin' Ass-y!
You Rock Aunt T!!!!
We love you!!!!!

Happy Birthday!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

{Things that rock my world}



My new Cheetah style WETLINE flat iron
Rocks My World!


Aunt Tracy had a hook-up with tickets for the
"What a Woman Wants Show" at the SouthTowne Expo.
It was super fun!
We both bought more than we probably should have,
BUT when that much retail is in front of our noses...
we have to buy, buy, buy!!!
Tracy and I are both impulse buyers.
And my impulse is what bought me my new flat iron.
Did I need a new flat iron?
NO! No I didn't!!
Just ask the unused 6 of them sitting dusty in my bathroom drawer!
But this one is different!!!
REALLY different!!!
The sales gal had me at "lifetime warranty".


 Look at how my hair goes from straight to bouncy curls in minutes!!!!
Fast, easy, adds shine and no more curling irons for me!!!!!

 

It was a treat to have someone style my hair.


The next night we had a BBQ to crash.  Gotta look good, so I whipped out my Cheetah love, and this is how my hair curled in 5 minutes!!!!
When I woke up this morn, The curls were still in tact and looking fresh.
No product other than a few cht, cht's of hairspray to hold the style.

Any hairdressers out there try these???
What is your opinion?



{The Dutch has EFFEN great advertisement}


Have you seen this brand of EFFEN Vodka?
I noticed it at the liquor store and thought,
"Hey! That is a genius EFFEN name!  I should EFFEN buy some."
But I didn't, so I can't give you any kind of EFFEN feedback on the taste.....
next time I go to the liquor store, I will get me an EFFEN bottle!
Below are the fun EFFEN ads.....
enjoy :)

"Nothing warms me up like EFFEN by the fire."

 "There's nothing more satisfying than EFFEN on a plane."
"Everyone enjoys EFFEN in the penthouse."



Wednesday, September 22, 2010

{rainy day lover}

“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain”


{I could totally slap you with your Velveeta}


First:  Let me say that I am in awe and admire anyone who can save money by coupon clipping and ad comparison shopping.  It takes time and skill to get the most bang for your buck! 
In this economy with less paycheck and rising food costs, it has become a necessity for many.

BUT!
and a huge BUTTTTTTT!

I would like to petition Walmart to open three lines designated specifically for the 
"Super Saver Shopper".

I have about had it with getting in line behind a woman with six uncontrolled children.
The momma-pants is taking her time to nit-pick about every freakin' penny and then presents the ad and then trys to find the right picture, and then digs to find the coupon that will get her a free pack of Kotex! 
All the while the 2,3,4 and 6 year old is climbing on MY cart, looking inside, pulling crap off of the Walmart shelves and the mother-super-saver-shopper talks to them in such a meek, kind voice that they tune her out!

"Johnny, little Johnny :) you might get hurt if that rack you have climbed to the top of, falls on you. 
Come stand by momma, Johnny."

And this is repeated by her over, and over, and over without action.

I am stuck behind this chaos with the time ticking and am now late for a very important appointment.

I want to salami slap someone real bad!!!!!!
ARGH! ARGH! ARGH!

Don't even get me started on the petition I want to start regarding Costco lines!

What do you think?
Is it insensitive of me to be annoyed and wanting to cause bodily harm to a fellow mother?
OR is it insensitive of the shoppers/retailers to hold up lines for people that need extra attention?
Is it ok for people to bring their ill behaved children to mawl the store and the patrons.......
and never take control of them?

I think both are rude.

Call me a bitch....
I am.

Sincerely,
Fed up shopper, mom hater, bitch


Tuesday, September 21, 2010


{the last one}


River had one last baby tooth....
That's if you don't count the two bottom molars that do not have permanent teeth behind them. 
 A genetic thing I'm told.

One last baby tooth.......
that didn't want to come out on it's own.
It just wanted to stay in its comfort of what it's known for the last decade.

One last baby tooth........
that while being extracted,
unexpectedly made me emotional.

My baby no longer has anything "baby" left attached to him.

Is it just me?
Am I just emotionally eff-d up fragile right now?
The answer is yes.
I'm paralyzed with unbalance.......
the unbalance of wanting pieces of my kids to mature faster to make life easier on me....
and on the other end of the teeter-totter is the yearning of their innocence and everything smelling/feeling baby soft and untainted.

Motherhood is a royally psychotic endeavor!


(first experience with numb mouth....
making faces all the way home in the mirror :)

Monday, September 20, 2010

{Yo!!!!  G to the Ma}

Yo! Yo! Yo!
My G is 80 today.

If you see a lady down around State street in one of those "jazzy" wheel chairs,
acting as if she owns the sidewalk,
 in a glitzy "more is better" outfit,
with glitter toes and purple hair,
singing a promiscuous tune from her generation.....
give the lovely lady a nice big HAPPY BIRTHDAY shout out!!!!
But don't get too close!
She might think your going to run her over and you WILL get a crooked flip off finger at your face and probably a few choice words that I can't repeat on this kind of family wholesome blog.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A look back at the birthday babe-a-licious in her younger years




Yep....I'd say us gals come from good stock!!!!



Sunday, September 19, 2010

{The perfect match}


One of our fav breakfast joints is The Park Cafe located on the South side of Liberty Park.
What makes this place one of our Sunday go to's????
~The "sure dude! whatever you want, s'all good" service
~The home made jam, generously peppered omelette, and black as night coffee
~The community atmosphere with a melting pot of people and style......all accepting of one another
~The kick-A park that is across the street to run around and work off all of the yummy grub!

The Park Cafe is where Jax and I had our brunch date on Friday.


Jax gets a thrill out of grabbing a
 "LOOK AT ME CROSSING THIS STREET!!!! 
NO REALLY!!!! 
 I SAID, LOOK AT ME WAVE THIS BRIGHT ORANGE FLAG WHILE I CROSS THIS STREET!!!!!!
I WILL SUE YOUR BLIND-ASS IF YOU DON'T SEE THIS FRANTIC FLAG WAVING!!"

Do other cities use these flags as a crosswalk signal? 
OR is this a UUUUtaw thing?


After making it to the park in one piece, the wheels on Jax's new long board hit the concrete.
He was confident and rode it like his size 10.5's were the found pieces of the missing long board puzzle.
Groove fit in groove.
He has been saving his chore $$ for a few months to buy the board of his dreams.  After walking through 5 different stores, Jax started to get ancy when we couldn't find one cheaper than $100, and most were around $150-200!!!!
(I know!!!!  WTF?!?!?!)


Thank the boarder God that there is Craigslist. 
 A go to for all of us "penny pinchin' and  happy with second hand goods" buyers.
A U of U student sacrificed her "ride to the beer bar*" for a mere $50!!!!
The exact amount that Jax had banked.

*She seriously rode this bad boy to the bar!!!  Sometimes double with her girlfriend on the back! 
Jax and I learned the hard way that riding double is very difficult....and painful....and funny looking



Sometimes our perfect match comes with a past that is scarred, scuffed, and broken in by another......
but the experiences we share are our very own :)


Tuesday, September 14, 2010


{Went to bed with a 10 woke up with a 2}


It's never too early to teach the negative effects of alcohol.

*disclaimer:  by no means am I encouraging my children a future of beer drinking, or drunk bedding with ugly women.
This was for joke purposes only.

{Damn YOU!!!}



I hear my son......
MY EVIL SON, 
beckoning me from behind,
"mom.....hey mom"

I turn to see THIS!

Yes....I pee'd my panties a little,
let out a scream.....
then beat the crap out of
MY EVIL laughing hysterically SON.

I really don't like Halloween.
This stuff is creepy......NOT fun for me!


Monday, September 13, 2010


{Laura Pearl Hansen Briggs}


Grandma's 80th birthday is on September 20.
Grandma asked that we not have a large party in her honor. 
 She just wasn't sure if she would feel up for it.
BUT because it is a respectable number, we had to have a respectable celebration......
We being Randy, River, Jax, Aunt Tracy and myself.


Aunt T and Grandma bought birthday tickets to the Lion King production.
After their fabulous Saturday matinee, they met us at the Macaroni Grill.
We were excitedly waiting to present Grandma with her birthday banner*.

*Banner said:
Happy 80th Birthday
Laura Pearl Hansen Briggs
With much love from
Your 4 children
10 Grandchildren
& 18 Great Grandchildren
(Look at the beautiful family pyramid she created.)
Pictures of her history were the focal points



It was a surprise to her that we were there, and actually for the first time in her 79 7/8 years, she was left speechless.


Riv has been practicing the "happy birthday" song as a gift to Grandma.
He did a beautiful job playing for her.

Jax wrote a poem as his contribution:
I love the way  you sing.
I love the way you talk.
I love when you laugh.
I love the way when you love.
I love when you care.
I love you.



The picture is of Jax at the microphone, Grandma in her wheelchair on stage and the audience in the seats :)



After all of the artsy fartsy stuff....we ate a yummy dinner, and then the waiter brought out a piece of lava cake with a candle.  We all sang happy birthday and passed the chocolate pile of love around for everyone to taste.
Grandma was a good sharer.
Which is saying a lot because this lady LOVES her food!


We are proud of our Mom/Grandma/Great Grandma.
She has lived a life of curiosity and events without fearful obstructions.

She truly is our Sweet 80 glam diva!!!

I am honored to be a part of such a memorable day for you Grandma :)
Much love
xoxoxoxoxo

P.S......remind me to tell you about the story of her getting pissed off at a fellow tenant.
"G-dammit all to hell!!!" was yelled by my Grandmother who had had ENOUGH of the other ladies' gibberjabber nonsense!

So you see......
my trucker mouth is genetic.
I find it a shame not to carry on the tradition.



{Career Preparation for the future}


Hello. 
 Thank you for calling the support line,
this is Habib,
how may I help you with your problem while I speak clear, understandable English?
~OR~
Welcome to taco bell...can I interest you in a Chalupa?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Home Schooling.....
Teaching and raising our children to become productive, intelligent adults in society.
All it takes it's some head gear.

Friday, September 10, 2010



{Love is a gamble and we've been damn lucky}


Randy brought home this gorgeous, scentful bouquet.
He said, "I went to a REAL flower shop and bought them!"
Which is a big deal to the both of us because the local Walmart is where we get most of our flower arrangements that die within 3 hours of purchase!
A real flower store gift :)
I loved it!


The card was very gooshy and sweet and thought out.
He surprises me with his creative words!


Rand was running low on his supply of man smell good.
And I for one do NOT want him to run out of that stuff!!!!!
mmmmmm....love a man that smells yum!
He has been wanting the Ed Hardy "love & luck" cologne. 
A cool overnight bag, small travel bottle and large size came with the package.
booooyah!


The card that I bought Randy was exactly what I was looking for :)
Please forgive the sappy-ness.


Awe.....come on!!!
We all know he's DAMN LUCKY!!!!!!



We celebrated our 21st anniversary dinner at The Copper Onion.....
Staring at each other......reiterating that we can't believe it's been 21 freakin' years.
And are we sure that it really is that long??? 
Did we miscalculate?


Then we finalized the evening with French coffee and in-season peach shortcake.

Nothing like a kiss from your love, on the streets of down town SLC at sunset...... with remainders of sweets and coffee on his lips.

I am damn lucky!


{1st grade "MUST HAVES"}



(Picture of Lexi on her first day of 1st grade)

Prior to the first day of school starting, Lexi sat down to make out her list of necessities for the 1st grade.
She was writing....and writing....and writing.....
then turns to Elise and asks,
"Grandma, how do you spell HAIR EXTENTIONS???"


Awe Lex.....you're my sunshine :)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

{I'm in love with the boy}

mullet or no mullet.........

I love this guy.

Happy 21st Anniversary my darling :)



Wednesday, September 8, 2010

{Pee in my Cheerios}





Say hello to my basement.
A little thing like a garden hose bursting and filling up a window well and dumping dirt and wetness and muck down your walls to fill rooms with standing water......at 7:00 am
Will feel like someone pissed in your Cheerios!!!

And....how was your day?